Yay! It is Friday. It is especially yay for me, because tomorrow I am off to Vanuatu for a week for work.  So, I’ll not be here for another whole week.  Sorry about that.  Hopefully when I get back, I’ll have some photos of fantastic beaches.  Or, the inside of my laptop.

In the meantime, enjoy Audrey Hepburn’s iconic dress from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

So elegant, so classy, so very Audrey.  So stylish.  Fantastic pearls too.

I’m off.  And planning to enjoy my first coffee on Sunday very very much.

Augfast: A Guest Fost from Emily; thoroughly endorsed by the author

Augfast was a bad BAD idea.

I wanted an ephiphany. I wanted to bound out of bed in the morning, wondering how I lived before caffeinefreeness.

But all I’ve got so far is headaches, the meanest coke cravings, and craving of other sweet things to replace coke.

Whose stupid idea was this again?

[Em: Yours.  So very much yours.  While I might have had to take a little bit of blame for Dryly, Augfast was all you.  Except the name, that bit was me.  And so, when I have the energy again to yell at you, I will do so.]

Augfast: Week One; In which i am a bitch

Do you have any idea how much i hate herbal tea right now?

The answer is sooooo much.

This whole not drinking coffee thing is hard.  Seeing as I don’t really drink a huge amount of coffee, I wasn’t expecting it to be that hard.  Well.  Turns out I’m dumb, as well as being grumpy and headachey.

Yep, I’ve had a headache for a week. And I can only imagine I’ve been a delight to be around.  I’m not missing chocolate that much, and am actually a little surprised about that – I’d have thought chocolate would be harder than the coffee part (diet coke being on top of that particular list).  It is limiting though.  There’s not many sweet snacks one can buy from a vending machine that don’t involve chocolate. But you know, not having an afternoon snack, it turns out, is not the end of the world.

Aside from the headache, the other thing I have really noticed is that I am exhausted in the afternoons.  By about four I am yawning up a storm, and just, basically, knackered. I would normally have coffee, or coke, in the afternoon, so it is not surprising.  But I would like to be over the whole ‘needing coffee’ part of the experiment now, and into the ‘I don’t need caffeine, I’m all healthy and vital without it’.  I actually snapped at someone this week, something that is unusual for me (I’m generally of the silently fume, bitch about them, and subtly undermine while making sarcastic comments school).

So, I guess, roll on week two.

Preparations

Wait, what drinking problem?

So the most important question on my mind right now is…what to drink tomorrow?

This is a very important question when one has 31 days sober. What will make my transition back to being a lush go more smoothly?

At right, you can see my options. Mmmm, Havana club…mojitos? Maybe a tad unseasonal. Or vodka, the old standard. I bought the two bottles of wine at the supermarket on Sunday. Verde, a longstanding favourite, was on special. Which had to be a sign. I’m not sure what of, but a sign none the less.

In all seriousness, I am very much looking forward to having a drink. I am looking forward to wine (just answered my own question, didn’t I), and that warm feeling you get in your stomach after the first few mouthfuls. I’m looking forward to being drunk, to that hazy goodwill, and inane laughter, wonky limbed merriment. I love that feeling. I’ve missed it.

And yet. Contrary to what I was expecting, and the impression I may have given on here, I have learnt something in this whole month of deprivation. While this last week has been hard, the first three weeks of not drinking were easy. Well, relatively easy. And that must translate somehow. I suspect that these early shifts (4am starts) would be much, much harder if I had been drinking. Not that I am stupid enough to drink the night before one, but I’m soooo old now that it takes me a few days to recover. So while I am fully expecting to enjoy my first wine back, I think I will still be being a bit quiet for the next while.

Having said that, there’s only so much craft you can do before you want to rip open a bottle of wine with your teeth.

Last ditch attempt at caffeination

On to the next challenge, which of course, is to forgo caffeine for a month. Joy. After some intensive research, we (and by we, I mean me and I hope Em agrees) have decided that means coffee, tea, coke, energy drinks, and chocolate. I know there is only a limited amount of caffeine in chocolate, but it can’t be bad to cut back on that too, right? I am somewhat worried about what I will do on the aforementioned early shifts without a coffee. Actually more importantly without tea. When I get to, the first thing I do is have a cup of tea. It’s less about the tea, and more about wrapping my hands around something warm, though, so I suppose I will cope with green/fruit tea. Or hot milk or something. Eeew.

And diet coke. Oh, how I love Diet Coke. You may have noticed, if you’ve been paying attention, that the box over there to the right has pretty much always featured diet coke as a thing to which I am addicted.

Actually, I need to ask for a dispensation for one night. I realise that it is very early to do this, and I don’t know who I am asking, except, well myself and Emily. But…rum train. I should explain the rum train. When certain members of my family get together, we like to drink. For ‘certain members’ read: all of us. And when it is my generation, there’s this thing called a rum train. It basically involves drinking a lot of rum. And at various intervals screeching “toot toot”. I don’t really even like rum, although it has grown on me in the past couple of years, and I was told that “we understand that, we just don’t tolerate it.” I have the distinct feeling that if I ask to mix my rum with ginger ale or something, not only will it taste foul, I will be mocked. And believe me, you haven’t been mocked until you have felt the warm, nasty, funny, mean embrace of my family. I am heading home for a mini-break, and to catch up with members of my family mid-month, and so there will be rum. Which means there will also be coke. Unless someone can think of a rum-and-something drink (we’re a simple family. Well, some of us are.) to replace it?

Failing that, it’ll be great! Not only will I feel jittery thanks to excessive sugar consumption from the rum, there’ll be all that glorious caffeine!

Anyway, I fully anticipate being a horrible bitch for the first week. But I’ll be able to self-medicate with wine, so really everybody wins!

Introducing: Augfast

This from Emily:

I sneak it into the house so my flatmates don’t notice. I beg my boyfriend to bring me around a fix. I have it with breakfast, and my evening hits keep me awake at night.

I am a coke zero addict.

Of course, diet coke will do when I’m really desperate and my only hope is the work vending machine. But it’s the zero that I love.

For months I’ve known I should cut back, and I even did a week without to prove that I could. But faced with a month of no caffeine, I’m getting a little panicky. I’ve gone through the bargaining stage (I will cut back if I don’t have to give it up all together) and denial (it’s not a problem, other people drink coffee – I drink coke zero).

But I know I should give it up. I cook from scratch, eat organic food, I exercise regularly, and look after myself, then ruin it with all the coke. So, here goes.

Megan and my Augfast pledge is to go without caffeine for a month. Of course red bull, v, coffee, tea and chocolate are all secondary addictions, but they too must go lest they become my fallback fixes.

Why the fuck am I doing this again???

Anyway, now it’s public I have to go through with it. If you see me baring my teeth at you in the kitchen as I make myself a herbal tea, please forgive me. .

This from me:

What is it about me that makes me agree to do these things? A desperate desire to be liked? An innate sense that everything I do is bad for me? A addict’s love of binging and purging? I don’t know, but it is something I don’t like about myself. I suspect this will be easier for me than alcohol. But then again, I do love me some chocolate. I much prefer Claire’s idea of Augthirst. But I’ve said I will, and I am nothing if not a women of my word. At least I can have wine to compensate.